How strange these dreams actually are – there are some which don’t let us awake while there are others which don’t let us sleep. Caught in the web of these the solitary soul lay hung, suspended and restless completely unaware of what to do and what not to. As the clock is striking past midnight hour, the similar admixture of thoughts and emotions are attempting to engulf me, to overtake me in their stride in the same manner as does the fog outside is making an attempt to capture the world out there. This, I guess, perfectly sums up my current state of mind as the chaos and haziness blooming outside mystifies my inner self as well. What is awaited is that stroke of air, that bout of sunshine which clears away these clouds for a clearer vision and a brighter path.
My bout of insanity evident from the words above stems from the cruel fact the world despite being a beautiful place suffers from grave distinctions amidst the people that live therein. In one of my earlier post, I recall pondering about the differentiation in this beautiful world, “. . . There are some who have the luxury of residing in the lavish homes, while there are others who find their haven beneath the shadow of starry sky; there are some who are served with the choicest of the delicacies, while there are others who find their hunger sated from the leftovers; there are some who are adorned with the branded apparels of highest grade, while there are others who just manage to cover themselves with whatever they get. Some may refer it the outcome of past birth deeds, some may call it the culmination of karma philosophy and some might just shrug & move ahead saying there are indeed better things to look and ponder about.”
I am sure it would have happened with many of us to wake up in the morning and walk away numb with a feeling of some void or something missing altogether or some strong urge to have a deep rooted motive or connection to do something which can elate the spirit and uplift the soul. Lost in the momentary busyness of life, we might find that nagging feeling of void a bit unnatural especially as the life is going in full swing per se but it surely isn’t a misnomer. It’s just that owing to the circle of imperfections, apprehensions or incapableness which we create around ourselves, we choose / tend to overlook it completely. The irony of the whole thing is that though we manage to shrug them off (at least momentarily) by covering ourselves in the false veil of understanding and (so called) choices we choose to make that yearn, longing and void persists.
Does it happen with you as well . . .?
Well, it does happen with me sporadically. I say sporadically because, though the realization remains alive perennially within, the sensation aggravates intermittently every now and then. Just a glance around reveals the truer picture of the world and its people suffering and yearning for their share of love, compassion and assistance. Almost on a daily basis, I wake up with that cringing feeling of leading the most mechanical life (like many of us) which doesn’t spare us even the slightest chance to halt and ponder. As that alarm scream at the peak of its lungs, trying hard to wake me up from the slumber, I most hesitatingly retire from my couch to get ready for my daily chores (the alarm outside manages to wake me up from the physical sleep I was in but the wake-up call that’s constantly ringing within still await my conscious submission). And then as the day unfolds that cringe grows heavier and heavier. The life moves on and along-with, me too in the motion that it carves out for me, through the turns it takes me to, accepting or negating the things it throws back to me, perhaps leading all by default and missing the ‘Lakshya’ (aim) of life altogether or rather not following the ‘Lakshya’ (aim) of life.
More often than not amidst the stillness of the dark night, the silence echoes and seeks answers of many impending questions for which I too search for an appropriate answer. . . . . .Why do I exist on this planet??? What is that I am supposed to do??? What am I literally doing??? What good my daily acts doing to the life of millions of the destitute and inflicted souls??? What is the justification of this life it's materialistic pleasures when every single day your soul witness impoverished and abandoned souls striving for the bare necessities of the life??? Is it not worthwhile to give it back to the society which has fostered us the way we today are???
I have been nurturing some silent beliefs in my heart since long – beliefs to give something back to the society which has evolved me into the person I am. These beliefs were planted as seeds beneath my heart during my teens, incubating in deep thoughts, nourished by desires & hopes before sprouting into the saplings of the dreams which subsequently were maneuvered to blossom into a tree of life in whose branches and arms lay hanging the fruits of those tomorrow which still await its final efflorescence. Poor little fruits, how hard they try to protect themselves from the gusty winds of reality only to find themselves falling prey to these. And I am, yet again, left to ponder as to whose fault was that – my beliefs which were not adequately nurtured before planting or my dreams which were not sufficiently nourished before sprouting or my tree of life which was not amply competent to sustain the weight of fruits of tomorrow or it was the fault of the outside world which prevented the fruits to abloom. The fault, perhaps, lies both with the tree (within) and the wind (outside). Confusion, confusion and confusion!!!
You must have seen a horse. A horse’s freedom is to run and that is what he is meant to do, taming and domesticating him doesn’t do any benefit. On the contrary, it absolves him from his capabilities and potential & one fine day when the time ripens and he is given the ground, the arena and the freedom to run – he finds the will missing. The damage has already been done the infliction has already been inflicted. The similar thing holds good for us as well, it’s imperative to wake just in time before the body gives away to the slumber and life itself become ‘used to’ to the shell in which we have carved it into. But then it’s not always that easy to break the shell. Even our utmost aspirations backed by the cognizance and convictions don’t see the light of the day. There are so many things which the heart wants to do, so many lives which the soul wants to touch but don’t know why despite all the efforts, sometimes things fall apart and they fall so discretely that it becomes impossible to re-assimilate and re-start. But then again the choice remains to let the life take its course or do your own bit amidst the adversities around. I choose to do the later.
|Source; Google Images|
All said and done, to summarize, we all have bountiful compassion, fathomless love and enough kindness in our heart and these are such commodities which multiply when shared. Let your treasuries of love and compassion grow boundless by touching a life of someone in need. In addition to the material things which you bestow to the people in need, give them your time and concern – free in cost but beyond measure in value. That’s what the joy of giving is all about. There is an old story which I read somewhere which speaks about the joy of giving and the happiness it emanates – “A woman who was traveling alone in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveller who was hungry; the woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveller saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveller left, rejoicing in his great fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But few days later he came back, to return the stone to the woman. “I’ve been thinking,” He said, “I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone.” The woman smiled and said, “The joy of giving!”
As Gibran also puts it. . . “You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”
Perhaps, it turned out to be a complex and confused post, but trust me that’s not it was intended to be. It was actually an innocent attempt to seek opinion, guidance and answers on some of the matters which disturb me and my soul every now and then . . . If you have the answer or the insight, do offer your words below.
~Shubh Life . . . Om Sai Ram
© 2015 Manish Purohit (Reserved)
Heartfelt thanks for visiting here. . . While the thoughts are woven with the strings of the words, what remains to be seen whether they does manage to form a bridge for you to cross and listen to the beating. And if it does, do drop in your beat in the comment box . . . it always feels great to hear from you :)